Writing Your Wedding Vows - What NOT to Do!
It's rare that I put any 'rules' around wedding ceremonies beyond keeping up with the legal parts. However, I want you to feel happy and confident with the vows you create and I hope these quick tips give you some understanding of what to avoid when writing your own vows:
1. Don’t beat yourself up if you are not the creative type. Your vows do not need to be created (I repeat - your vows do not need to be created!), they already exist inside of your and once you follow an easy formula (here), it’s just a matter of writing them down.
2. Don’t Google your vows – at first anyway. The internet does not know your personal relationship with your partner. If you are using vows off the internet, you might as well skip the personal vows section all together because they are not going to come across as authentic. Once you’ve completed a simple formula for writing about your journey with your partner, THEN go online to add a few sweet gems.
3. Never make fun of your partner, even sarcastically – it’s never going to be considered as funny or amusing for your guests as you think. I’m not joking – over a decade of watching vows, this never goes to plan. However, you can break this rule by stating how you will help with that minor flaw or pledge to forever overlook it. This is an important tip. Why?
People are investing their time, money and energy into attending your wedding because they are trusting that you are seriously ready to take on the responsibilities of marriage. This includes being able to overlook the little things that irritate you, because there will be many now and more to come. They also want to know that you will honour and respect your spouse in good time and in bad times.
4. Don’t do them at all. If the idea of writing and reading your own vows in front of everyone makes either of you feel sick to your stomach, that is not something anyone wants to feel on their wedding day. Personal vows are an option and not a legal requirement. An alternative can also be to write your vows and not read them, but put them in a wine box during the ceremony.
5. Avoid obscure references or inside jokes. These types of lines will make your guests feel left out, rather than invited into your relationship. Given your whole ceremony is a celebration of bringing people together, there is no point in saying something that makes them feel puzzled or confused. You can always save these types of playful jokes into written notes to be shared before the ceremony starts.
6. Avoid overtly sexual references. This of course depends on your guests, but there is nothing that makes your grandmother cringe than getting too much information about your bedroom habits.
7. Never start off the ceremony with the line, ‘It wasn’t love at first sight…’ This is a terrible line that rarely offers any value to whatever you say next. The only time I’ve ever heard this line used and it worked was, ‘It wasn’t love at first sight, but then again, I was only seven!’
Other than that...have fun! Here is the video with instructions on what you CAN think about to add to your vows!