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Wedding Take 2! Questions to Ask Yourself When Preparing the Second Ceremony.

If you had an elopement or a cere-mini prior to your destination wedding, during the pandemic lockdowns, or for other personal reasons, you may be planning a second ceremony for family and friends. Here are some questions to speak to your partner about and share with your Officiant to help direct how you want the ceremony to go:


1. Do you want the language and logistics to reflect the Ceremony as a vow renewal or the same as the first wedding? Some couple’s may have kept their elopement secret and simply want the ceremony to embrace all the traditional language of a first-time ceremony.


For instance, the Officiant may simply say ‘I am honoured to perform this ceremony’ rather than ‘wedding ceremony’. It may also include stating that you’ve already been legally married: “They signed their legal papers on (date), but still wanted a wedding to thank all of the amazing people in this room for the role that you’ve played in this journey - both individually, and from them both as a couple. So thank you!"


This may also determine if you want to walk in separately during the processional or together.


2. Do you wish to sign anything during the ceremony. If your legal paperwork has already been completed, this could be as simple as a commemorative certificate as a souvenir.


3. Consider why having the second Ceremony important to you? Defining your reasons why will make for a heartfelt message for your Officiant to say to welcome your guests. For instance, the welcome message may focus on how important it is to celebrate and share in that celebration with everyone you love.


Example: With the perfection of that day, they have thought deeply about this day, and it’s meaning. Human connection is essential. Gathering is essential.

They knew they had to do it for you.

So please, dance as many dances as your legs can take tonight.

Sing as loud as you can.

Laugh until your face hurts.

Say Thank You, say I Love You to everyone around you.

Let others know how much you appreciate them. ___ and ___ hope you know how much they appreciate you.”


4. Do you want to want to write new vows and/or put your original vows into a box as your "love time capsule" for your 10-year anniversary. You may not have offered personal vows during your cere-mini, so you can either repeat after your Officiant or write your own.


5. Will you exchange the same rings, or new ones? You could even add a ring warming ritual and have the wedding party or family bless the rings with good wishes. Or consider other physical symbolic rituals such as:

Chocolate Ritual – Feeding each other both a milk and dark chocolate to symbolize the acceptance of life when it is both sweet and bitter.

Unity Candle or Sand - Symbolizes the blending of your two lives/families into one.

Water Ceremony - Pour 2 different colored waters into a 3rd vessel creating a third colour to blend your lives.

Painting - Splatter or paint a blank canvas with your own individual colours, symbolizing coming together, but keeping your own individuality.

Blessing or Wish Stones - Guests can either hold or even write on stones when they arrive and leave them behind for your garden: "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone."

Wine/Sake Ceremony - Drink from the "Cup of Life" -Symbolizes the journey of life before you.

6. Do you want a traditional Ceremony or will you explore something new, like a Handfasting Ceremony? (Handfasting Checklist, Cord Colours and Symbolism, Where to get a Cord.)


Your second Ceremony is limitless, so you can be as traditional or creative as you desire!

For her Second Ceremony Melissa chose a black dress!

Photo Credit: Jess and Matt from Whim and Willow